A quick twenty year transition timeline. It was a long and sometimes difficult journey to figure who I am, but it was all worth it. Enjoy this short documentary of my journey from 4 years voicing that I’m a girl named Rose to me beatboxing about being hella gay to performing in drag to finally living my authentic life. It does get better. I wish I could tell my younger self that one day it’ll all make sense. One day people are going to understand you and love you so much. Keep on fighting for yourself and focus on loving yourself first. You’re going to go so far and do incredible things. I love you, little Rose.

Dysphoria:

I'm sorry you're experiencing dysphoria at all. It can be so difficult to process, but recognizing it is important. I would suggest talking with a gender specialist or therapist/ counselor. Know that it's okay to feel this way and there are ways to alleviate it. Do your research and make sure the place you're going to is either LGBTQ friendly or specializes in gender dysphoria. Ask friends, community members, your primary physician, or research places online. Through soul searching, researching, talking with friends, and a therapist, I decided medically transitioning was the best choice.

Hormones:

Hormones may affect your body's physical appearance to better align with your gender identity. I was assigned male at birth. I started hormone replacement therapy when I was 19. Estrogen and spironolactone have made me feel more at home in my body. My skin softened, my body hair thinned, my hairline stopped receding, I developed breast tissue, and the fat in my body has redistributed to give me a more feminine figure.

Unfortunately most places require you to have spoken with a psychologist or therapist who diagnoses you with dysphoria or even 'transgenderism'. From there, they can recommend a clinic or doctor who can prescribe hormones. Most clinics require regular testing and suggest therapy to be sure your physical and mental health are in check.

​Please do not self medicate as it can be very dangerous. Everyone's bodies are different and need different amounts of hormones. It's important to have regular lab work to test that your levels are normal and healthy.

Video for my 22 months on hormones update.
​Trigger Warning: I give myself a shot in this video.

Lately my weekly shots have been so automatic, I don't even think about them anymore. The day I filmed this, I woke up and remembered what it was like when I felt so much body dysphoria I couldn't leave my bed. So I decided to record myself injecting my estrogen shot. I recorded a voice over on why I started HRT and about the changes I have experienced from a combination of estrogen tablets, injections, and spironolactone. Please do not take hormones without a doctor's supervision and with regular lab work. It can be dangerous to self medicate. 

Video for my 4.5 year anniversary on hormones.
Here are a few tips and tricks for injecting estrogen and some updates on what hormones have done for me. I’m so thankful for access to hormones. Note that not every trans person has access to transition nor does every trans person wish to take hormones. This is just my journey.

I was very confused going through puberty... and so were my hormones. Here’s an embarrassing story I haven’t shared with even most of the people that are closest to me. I’m very thankful for hormone replacement therapy. And I’m very thankful for my mom.

Hair Removal:

I lucked out by not growing a lot of facial hair after puberty, but I still had to shave twice a day for a long time to feel comfortable. After 6 months of regularly covering my 5 o'clock shadow with orange color corrector, foundation, concealer, and powder, I decided I wanted to try laser hair removal. I also lucked out finding a clinic that charged hourly instead of by area. I went about every 6 weeks for almost 7 months. This didn't completely remove my facial hair, but it drastically lessened the density and darkness. The clinic went out of business so i still had to shave every day but didn't have to color correct anymore.

Electrolysis is the only permanent way to remove unwanted hair. While it can be expensive, some insurances will cover it, especially for surgery prep. There are grants to apply for that will help cover costs. Point of Pride has helped me afford permanent hair removal starting in July of 2018. I've documented this process on my Instagram. The sensation is most similar to that of getting a tattoo in my opinion. I can also compare it to drawing blood or administering my shot, but it happens over and over again for each follicle then the hair is plucked from the skin with tweezers. I usually apply lidocane (an over the counter numbing agent) beforehand and topical CBD oil afterward. Use code JESSE15 for 15% off Dank Flavors.

Surgery:

Most surgeons require people to have been on hormones/ lived in their gender identity for a year or two. Your therapist (and sometimes a therapist with a PhD) will have to write a letter explaining that you have dysphoria and understand the risks and benefits of surgery. Do your research! This is a serious decision; make sure you're comfortable with the surgeon you pick.
​Some insurances will cover top surgery, but many surgeons don't accept insurance.

Transition - @rosalynnemontoya

See Instagram 'Transition' highlights from Rose Montoya (@rosalynnemontoya)